On January 7, our world in Los Angeles was turned upside down. We went from what many called paradise to total destruction within hours. Entire neighborhoods, homes, stores, hikes, landmarks, and more were wiped out by the devastating and fast-moving fires, given the 100-mile-per-hour winds. It still doesn’t seem real. But we can smell the smoke, and people are wearing masks to protect their lungs, so it must be real.
It is the most humbling, stressful, and heartbreaking experience to watch the fires burn so many places you loved and then wonder if you’re safe. Will your home be spared? Will you be ordered to evacuate? If so, what should you pack? The Pacific Palisades area in the flats was considered safe by many people; in the past, fires had never made it that far. There was a mental and physical barrier, we thought, and yet the flames broke through that untouchable line.
If you were lucky enough not to lose your home, you probably know people who lost theirs or evacuated. We are now faced with a whirlwind of emotions and grief for the life we had, whether we’ve lost a home, a pet, a loved one, our school, our place of worship, or our business. Families are hustling to find places to live in a city already short on housing. I’m grateful that my house in Santa Monica was spared. We are all incredibly grateful to the brave firefighters and first responders from all over who are working to contain the fires and support L.A.
Life changes very quickly. These devastating moments help you gain perspective on what’s most important. What you have can evaporate in minutes. We have no power over nature. It doesn’t answer to you. It doesn’t matter if you have a fancy title, a nice home, or a good job. Change happens whether we welcome it or not. It’s especially hard when we didn’t ask for this change or want it.
It is humbling, stressful, and heartbreaking to see so many people at a challenging point in their lives. But it is also inspiring to see people be so supportive and kind to one another. I was walking my dog with a friend when we noticed a woman, about 55 years old, standing with her college-age son by her car. The trunk was open, and you could see she had been displaced due to the fires. We stopped and asked if she was okay. She started to cry and shared that, sadly, her house in Pacific Palisades had burned down. She said she was crying because of the kindness being shown to her, which in turn made us cry. She was having so much trouble finding a place here that she was planning to go to Santa Cruz until things calmed down in L.A. In the brief encounter, we shared a heartfelt connection and hug. Although we may never see each other again, I will always remember that hug filled with sadness, exhaustion, appreciation, and kindness. These moments happen every day when you talk with someone at a restaurant, a grocery store, or a coffee shop, or just when you’re out walking your dog. Everyone is going through something right now.
There are so many questions people are asking: Is the air safe? Is the water safe? Can we afford to stay in L.A.? Where can we find a good rental? Do we want to take the time and energy to rebuild? Can we even live here for the next 10-plus years? And if not here, then where?
This time of transition and uncertainty is very uncomfortable for many of us. Life as we knew it is gone. Greater clarity will come with time, but most folks are still getting by day by day. Now is the time to lead with kindness. Let people know you care, be intentional, and focus your attention on what really matters. We have no choice but to move forward together and create something new and beautiful in a city we love.
Alissa Finerman WG98 is an executive coach, a Gallup-certified Strengths Coach, and the author of Living in Your Top 1%. She works with leaders and teams to improve performance and engagement levels. She is the co-president of the Wharton Club of Southern California and on the executive coaching team for the Wharton Executive MBA program.
