Robert Fox W45 met his wife, Isabelle, when she was a junior at Harvard University in 1946. The couple married in 1947 and recently celebrated their 78th wedding anniversary. Isabelle practiced psychotherapy for 35 years, and the couple authored books on romantic relationships together, including The Prospective Spouse Checklist. Robert tailored his advice to the Wharton community for this blog post.

Man in a tuxedo standing next to a woman in a flower crown

Robert Fox W45 with his wife Isabelle

In selecting the Wharton School, students make one of life’s most important decisions: where they will receive an education to guide them throughout the many years ahead. Wharton may help you prepare for a career in the world of finance, but there is another decision to be made. Every student at Wharton — from undergraduates to MBA and PhD candidates — is offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet and select a life partner or spouse. At no time in their future lives after leaving Wharton, in whatever their chosen business or profession may be, will they find such a large “pool” of eligible spouse candidates with the following advantages:

  1. The student body is close to 50/50 for men and women in both the undergraduate and MBA programs.
  2. Several of its members will be unmarried.
  3. Many cultural backgrounds and hometowns will be represented, so students will have many choices.
  4. Although intelligence levels will vary, the very fact that a student is at Wharton means they have a reasonably high and compatible IQ.
  5. Almost everyone in these pools of students is present at the same time, pursuing their studies together, which provides an opportunity to combine education with socializing between classes, during meals, and at campus events.

While writing books on the subject, my wife and I have identified some of the key questions to consider in the search for a lifetime partner:

  1. Is he or she emotionally able to make a permanent commitment? This may be difficult to determine, but discussions in campus settings will provide many convenient opportunities for exploration.
  2. Do the two potential partners share compatible goals and values? These questions can also be thoroughly explored while socializing and studying. One question might be: “Who took care of you when you were an infant and toddler?” This can stimulate a discussion of early childhood experience. Many adults tend to treat their children as they were treated.

The Four Roles of a Spouse

You might also keep in mind that every spouse must fulfill four essential roles: companion/friend, sex partner, business partner (handling personal finances), and parent (if children are involved). So during the dating/getting-to-know-you experience, it is advisable to ask: “How well would he or she perform each role?”

In conclusion, I am suggesting that students combine two essential quests at the same time: pursuing a Wharton education, and the selection of a companion. At no time in their future lives will they have so many opportunities to make an intelligent choice of a lifetime partner. Do not miss them!

 

Robert Fox W45 entered Wharton as a 17-year-old in February 1943 through the U.S. Navy “V-12” program. He was a Naval cadet in the U.S. Naval Reserve Officers Training Corps (NROTC) until graduation. He was also elected to Beta Gamma Sigma. After Wharton, he earned his J.D. and practiced medical malpractice, personal injury, and divorce law. Robert and Isabelle have three children, seven grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren.